Tuesday, June 9, 2009

"The Monster and I" by Beautifulyes

The Monster and I by Beautifulyes
Author: Beautifulyes
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,068
Reviews: 39
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Horror
Summary: Edward and Bella are happily in love, but Edward refuses all sexual contact for mysterious reasons. What happens when those reasons are revealed? NOT CANON-STYLE VAMPIRES. Very, very AU. Much lemons, violence, and dark and dominant Edward.

Heey! I'm back! Sorry for disappearing on y'all for a few weeks. You know, RL and all.

Okay, so first, let me start by saying, this is NOT your typical Twilight fic. This is waaay the fuck out in AU-land. Seriously, I mean, totally and completely NOT SMeyer's vamps here, not in the LEAST. Now, not only do we have a great big HEALTHY dose of OOC originality going on here, but THIS has NOT BEEN DONE BEFORE! (Trust me peeps, at least to my knowledge, this is NEW!) REFRESHING doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. You can't ASK for a more intelligently written AU here people!

On top of all this fuckin' graavvy of originality, we have ourselves a MOST deliciously DARK DARK Edward! Oh, and did I mention a DARK Carlisle as well? Mmmm.....yesss. I thought that might wet yer panties a little more thoroughly. *coughNinacough*

Yes, Edward is Oh.So.Fucking.Deliciously.Dark in this. I've got two words for you submissive little masochists....



Yup, you heard me. (And listen when I tell you, I've tried this first hand, and beautifulyes fucking NAILS IT. Like a coffin. *Chapter 5 bbs.*)

And even with all of Edward's dark, possessive, dominant, devious, bloody-freaking-deliciousness, I can guarantee that beautifulyes will have you crying for him. Oh yes, you are going to want to embrace him, and comfort him, and then have him slap your titties and bite you. You are going to feel things for this Edward like you have never felt for Edward before!

So yeah, Chapter 2 is.... a little... disappointing... and I let her know this straight away. At least, it's disappointing on the FIRST go around.

But just you wait. HaHaaaaaa!

You wait until the fiery fantabulous FUCKERY that is ALL of Chapter 4, and you will be EATING MY WORDS... by the motherflippin' MOUTHFUL. I certainly did. (And this isn't even the SMUT chapter!) Her vampire creations are truly a thing to be behold.

Oh, dear, dear Chapter 4! *in a lover's regaling song* How shall I love thee? Let me cry out in hymn....
Oh, the FORESHADOWING! The ELOQUENCE! The IMAGERY! The sheer NECESSITY OF EVERY FRACKING WORD! It is Just.Fucking.FLAWLESS. *bows head, Amen* I cannot say enough about this fuck-all of a chapter, from the first word, to the last thought.

Seriously... Just read my review on it. I was absolutely dumbfounded by brilliance:
Chapter 4 Reviews *NOTE: Has many spoilers!

Okay... so maybe I get a little carried away with my unyielding praise & joy for Chapter 4, and maybe you, the reader, won't take as much from it as I did. But it is the Gods To Honest Truth that I was simply breathless after reading this chapter. I'm not kidding. I am still confounded at how sharply it struck the chords of angels inside me. The line, "...from the highest mountain," comes to mind. From the rooftops, from the bell-tower, from wherever the fuck I can find people to read this epic story, it is simply a MUST FUCKING READ RIGHT THE FUCK NOW kind of thing, kwim?


Well, what the hell are you waiting for?!? GO! READ IT!



  1. Jo, you are a freakin genius. This is my fave darkrec ever, I think. It is so refreshing and interesting and unique. Dark, yes, but so original, interesting, well thought out, and hot. Awesome rec - thanks! I have a feeling that she is going to be getting a tonne of new readers from this rec! I'm totally blown away by it.

  2. I want to thank you! I think this is my fav DARKward ever! He truly gives the name a whole new meaning. thank you, thank you, & thank you!

  3. WOW.. loved it..
    It's so different.. the humor amongst the very dark and sexy.
    I sped through all 6 chapters and now I'm waiting for more.

  4. holy crap!!! everything you said about chapter 4 - wow, amazing

  5. Why no updating? We needs our Darkward. :)

  6. Thank u for rec'ing this story! I'm hooked now!